Yoga Report

I am sitting here drinking a cup of coffee which for certain is not ayurvedic and before that I had a big meal at Kentucky Fried Chicken. If you are a self declared yoga guru you have probably passed out by now.  I wonder, how the hell could I stay true to a vegan diet for three years !?!  fast food with all the magical ingredients , which is just strange names to me since I do not have a doctors degree in chemistry, taste great ! Ok I failed miserably according to the yoga books. Eat in moderation ! Vegetarian food is the best for yoga ! etc.  But what does all that mean ? If I eat meat and lots of it should I just avoid doing yoga altogether ?  I have been starving myself on a vegan diet and for sure my body was light and I could do some semi advanced knots and hold my breath for quite a long time. The only thing it led to in my case was social isolation. You get invited to a dinner and you cannot eat anything they are serving and you are boring because you do not drink.  They do not invite you again, what is the point in cooking for somebody who does not eat ? By the way I stopped the holding breath excersises when I read that you actually kill braincells by not giving them enough oxygen. Enlightment in all honour but to function in this world I need what is left of my brain. Expect on my last work were I could have left it at home without noticing.  But what is the point with all these excersises ? No matter what we do we have to shit, eat ,sleep and pay the bills. No meditation I have done so far have actually put any money in my bank account. It have been a steady stream of expenses to course after course. For some the whole spiritual journey is a linear one but where does it end then ? I mean if you go from eating meat to just lentils what is the next step ? You meditate 24/7 and eat a spoonful of rice each month but what then  ?   I see these yoga guys who can make a human knot out of themselves and I wonder why they do it ? no matter how much they try, Mister fantastic in the fantastic four can still do it better. OK I admit it i will do some yoga before I go to bed tonight. Just a little bit I promise. No mister fantastic just some breathing exercises. I have already burnt all the bridges to enlightenment but I have very vivid dreams when I do some relaxing before bedtime. I do not need to rent a movie. I have horror movies in 4D every night. It feels like I am in the middle of the battleground and when I am scared it is for real. I never understood people who take drugs like  LSD and stuff. Take a couple of yoga courses and I can assure you that your dreams will be very strong and clear and if you really get into it you are even able to control the dreams at night. Imagine that you can choose your own destination in dreamland. You want a date with Jenna Jameson you got it ! But this is something they never advertise about in the yoga ashrams etc. Tantra sex were you meditate for hours together with your loved one. How exciting is that ? i think in general dreams are largely underrated. I mean in a dream you can do whatever you want. In an instant you can have the house you want and drive the car you want. You wake up and there is no bill to pay. I am just rambling I know but it is late and I am about to see a movie. It is called “walk the talk” and it is about a self help guru who have to re valuate his life. In general I think it is easiest to be a self help guru if you have inherited a fortune and live alone.  As soon as you actually have to deal with the real world no words will help you unless you are willing to walk the extra mile. Oh no I quoted a self help guru by mistake in the last sentence. I think there are more people who have succeed who have have never opened a self help book. Writing a self help book instead of reading one is the first step to success or at least that is my theory(tm). What does all the self help books give you ? you get more egoistic and selfish ? Read some help others books instead. I think this world would be a much better place if we actually spend our time helping others. But I guess that is what mothers, firefighters, policemen, dads etc. have been doing all the time without having the time to write a book about it.

peace to you all whoever you are.