Yoga Report

After a late run on the beach this night I feel at peace today. I felt a lot of sadness the last few days since my loved one is back in her home town and I am here and whatever I look at I see her in front of me but I can not physically touch her.  I am participating  in yoga teaching training in Austria next month and after that it is white space. It feels like a very big step to start to teach in a foreign language, German, right now and maybe this will change during the course. The biggest group I have taught in yoga was 8 people in India and the next step is to teach for a full class of 25-50 people. I know I should start this step by step but right now I cannot think about this as a compromise. I want to become a full time yoga teacher. There is no other option. Like a candle flame of concentrated light I am focusing on this. My whole body is trembling with the thought of throwing myself into this. Will I die ? Do I have to live in celibacy ? Up to now I have done yoga teaching on a voluntary basis. To live I need money to pay the bills and it feels natural to take this step. I do not know why it is such a big step to charge for a lesson. Maybe it is putting pressure on me to be professional in my teaching. To strictly divide up my private life and the yoga. It feels more like the yoga have been growing in me for years and now it wants to get out of my body and it want me to work as a transmitter.  It feels like an explosion from within and I have no other option. I cannot explain in a logical way and it feels like a very lonely road since my old friends are not so interested in this. Yoga feels like something I have been hiding and now all of sudden I want to show the world. I am grateful for all the people who support me in this and you mean a lot to me !