Yoga Report

“ It’s a way we had over here with living with ourselves. We cut ‘em in half with a machine gun and give ‘em a Band-Aid. It was a lie. And the more I saw them, the more I hated lies. “

 It is from the movie Apocalypse now and I have seen it more than 7 times over the years. In the documentary “heart of darkness” Francis Ford Coppola’s wife is telling us that they risked their own money and property in making this movie and she was willing to take that risk. I think that kind of willingness to risk everything you have is something that really gives a rich life. The movie itself transcends the Vietnam war and explains the painful dreamlike journey that life can be.
The pain was more than I could take and I released my legs from the Lotus pose. I started to see the connections with lines like ”Break on Through To the Other Side ” and how I experienced life. A journey where there is a dimension of peace and happiness which you cannot reach with logic. In the quest for this eternal truth and blissful state people have used psychedelic substances, alcohol, religion and meditation. The more I saw of the daily struggle for different people the more life seemed like a bad dream. The guy I talked to in England who had been living like a dog in a small house on the yard with his father beating him regularly was something I could not understand with logic but i could understand the pain to some extent. It opened a painful insight about human behaviour. For a long time I had dreams where the only option I had to survive was to kill other people. I get surprised with my own reactions to fear. My daily life was rather peaceful but then I had this dreams which really scared me beyond reason.  After a long and intensive period of meditation and yoga I had a dream where I was chased as before but this time I decided I rather die than being in this loop of violence. All of a sudden the dream changed and everybody was walking around peacefully. It was like if a stone was lifted from my chest and I woke up full of energy. But this was just a short glimpse and The nightmares returned in other variations . An attitude I want to avoid is to become one of those “holier than thou” yogis.

“In short, most of us think we really are “holier than thou,” although we may not be willing to admit it. Most of us know we wouldn’t do the awful things that set us apart from those ordinary people who stumble along the way — all those folks who are just average. ” from abcnews …

. This holier than thou mentality creates a setting where you have to put a lot of dreams and emotions under the carpet and suppress them to fit in. I have tried kick-boxing, tennis, weightlifting, Ashtanga yoga, Sivananda yoga, Satyananda yoga etc. and I pick something there and something there and out of that i build something that suits me. If I should give some advice it would be to try to stay open in life and find the flow which feels good and right inside. here are two people I really find inspirational. First it is Travis Barker on drums   and then Junior in break dance .